Morbo update, 3/25/08

Given the piss-poor state of affairs at our company, there has been talk of consolidating the creative department so that it is web-only. If that were to be the case, then the catalog, as it exists currently, would be reduced to a series of seasonal flyers or mini-books (if at all) since printing costs account for an insane amount of business cost.

Morbo’s “job”–besides honorary web designer and official member of the peanut gallery–is to analyze the square inch cost/ROI of the catalog. In other words, how much space does a product need to take up in order to be profitable? Or does it matter? Do more products per page result in higher/lower costs, etc.

If you were to do this, how do you think you would proceed?

I can’t say because I’ve only seen Morbo do his job his way. His way involves taking a ruler (like a physical ruler that you can purchase at walgreens) and standing for hours on end at the cork board posted on the wall. On this cork board are color copies of each spread in the upcoming catalog. The shape of our ACTUAL catalog is taller than it is wide, so in order to print the catalog, we have to shrink it down (shrink to fit page), and then print it. It probably means that the catalog on the cork board is about 85-90% actual size.

Yet this is what Morbo is using to analyze cost per square inch data…with a ruler he bought at walgreens…

Naturally, he does all of this while wearing flip flops and his occasional track pants, limping to and from his desk to the wall.

The other day, the copywriter saw him standing pensively at the wall w/his ruler…measuring catalog printouts…and asked him if he heard that we are planning on becoming a “web company.” His eyes widened like saucers…”Noooo…really? Nooo…”

Oh, Morbo. What would this company do without you?