Came home last night and saw some long dark hair dangling on the couch. I assumed it was my roomie, C, but upon further inspection realized that Worm Lips was sharing the couch with R. In true worm fashion, he turned and stared at me, and watched my every move as I made my way to the kitchen to get a drink of water. CREEPY. And gross.
Then this morning, Im sitting at my computer, and I hear this rustling sound. Thinking it was C, I turn around and look. Nope, its Worm Lips. I guess he wanted to use our computers, which is funny bc R brought this up the other day–about how she didnt know if she was allowed to use our computers and how it wasnt fair we designated this one area of the house as our study space. I mean I wont get into that bc I think its lame, but now it all becomes so clear. When that subject was brought up, I specifically said, “Feel free to use my computer, but I do not want Worm Lips using it.” Knowing him, he’d download music or print out pictures–whatever he could get for free.
And then, this morning, Worm Lips entered yet another common area and infringed upon my space. Does it ever end? Since when is he given free reign to roam around in our household? Its seriously so fucking inconsiderate.
So far my sanity has come in the form of Beaker. On Friday, we went to the horse track which was pretty fun. It kind of felt like a HS football game, and if my sis or zakk ever visits me again, Im def taking them there. We had fun picking horses by their ridiculous names, and at one point we were up almost $50. The best part of the night was when I bet on a horse that had really shitty odds of winning–and she won. I was going crazy, yelling at her to win–but I held back bc, I dunno…I can get really into this kind of stuff, and even though Im sure Beaker would be amused…I had to hold back.
I met this random dude at the track. Or should I say, this random guy approached me at the track and started talking to me (this was while Beaker was in line for food). He asked me if I had the winning horse and we chitter chattered for a while. I told Beaker what horses the guy was betting on and we tried all the weird crazy bets that you can do at the races.
Later, we met up with that guy again, and he started talking to me. Beaker said that he bet a lot of random people come up and talk to me, and that I have a lot of stories that my friends didnt have about such encounters. He called it “cute dog syndrome.” According to him, I have a very cute (?) and open (?) face, that people are drawn to, kind of in the way that someone is drawn to a very cute dog. You see a cute dog and you just want to go up to it and pet it. I still maintain that I am not very approachable (unless im wearing a hot dog tshirt, apparently) but I guess I do have a lot of weird people talking to me.
We also compared IDs that night. He does this thing where he likes to make stupid faces for official pictures, such as his drivers license. He had just received his CA license in the mail and showed me. It was pretty funny. Then, he asked to see mine (I look like a homie from Compton in mine) and he was like, “omg you look like a model in this picture!” I checked his face to see if he was being serious. He was. Weird. But hey if he likes that ugly picture, then obviously I dont really need to try that hard.
He drove me home and I told him all about worm lips. For the record, its now Worm Lips: 0, Rest of the World 943 + 1. Beaker hates him now too. Heh. What I like about Beaker is that he’s very analytical. If you tell him something, he doesn’t just nod his head in agreement and spit back out the same regurgitated data. Instead, he processes the info and adds his own thoughts to the mix. After I had finished my speil, he said, “I agree this guy sounds like a terrible person. But it also seems like youre letting him get inside your head a little bit.” True. But at the asme time, how can I not? How do I avoid him when hes running around the apt as if he lives here, doing laundry, watching tv on the couch, using my bathroom? I mean, I see him more than I see Beaker.
Anyway, we pulled into the driveway and it was awkward again. Beaker suggested drinks, but I was hesitant (its hard to ‘party’ with someone youre dating…or when its just 2 people sipping brewskies. boring). so then i grabbed my stuff, unsure of what to do, and said, “so…I guess I’ll talk to you later?” And he responded, “Can I call you?” man I didnt realize I was giving off the don’t call me vibe, but apparently he is confused as hell. So I invited him in, bc I wasnt sure what else to do.
We spent the rest of the night drinking port and taste testing chocolates. We also started talking about relationship stuff–not really between us–but I told him about the neverending saga of SCB, my ex, leaving out some details of course. He actually listened quite well, and seemed very objective in his comments rather than giving the obvious, “hes not good for you” type of thing. When I told him that seeing scb in nyc was weird bc it was like the old scb showed up–the one I knew 2 yrs ago, not the flaky cold-hearted one that has been present the past yr and a half, he said, “wow, I bet it must really be hard for you to realize that somewhere inside of him, hes still that person you used to know.” And I thought, god this Beaker, hes pretty insightful.
And it felt so comfortable there with him. Like we were best friends or something. I dont mean that he was in the friend zone, I mean that its a rare occasion to find someone who will listen to you, unbiased, adn seem genuinely as if he cares for your well being. I guess it was weird to feel that with someone again–someone you can go to and talk about your feelings with, and not feel shut out. I guess this is what is known as “trusting someone with your feelings.”
He didnt try anything, and as my friend DJ told me, its such a rare thing to find when 2 people can date for as many dates as we have, and still not kiss. As he said, its so 1950s and so sweet. I’m sure it will happen, Im just not sure when.
Last night, he called me again–out of the blue–and asked me if i wanted to hang out. We ended up seeing Corpse Bride, which was a really awkward experience. It was our first movie together, and sitting there in the dark…so weird. Not like it was a scary movie or a necessarily romantic movie, so there really was no opportunity to hand-hold or anything.
When he dropped me off, again it was awkward. I think he doesnt walk me to my door bc he doesnt want to be presumptuous or make it even more awkward w/him just standing there waiting to be kissed or something. Then again, sitting in the car and saying goodbye is really awkward too. Im not the type of girl to lean over and hug. Too weird.
He had to get up early so that pretty much was our evening: he drove all teh way to my house, picked me up, took me to the movie theatre that is right next to his apt, watched a movie, then drove me back to my house. All that work just to sit w/me in the dark and not say anything.
Thats 3 times in less than 5 days that we have seen each otehr. The Canadian has informed me of something I am already well aware of–that we are moving well past casual dating. Part of me wants to go to that next level with him to see what its like. It would be nice to just be able to relax with him, have brunch with him, read the paper with him. Crap you do when youre more couply and less datey. But then everytime I start to ponder the what it, my mind instantly snaps back to nyc. Am I ready to give that up? That kind of freedom to do what I want when I want w/whom I want?
I just dont fucking know. If i turn the corner, I’m afraid I wont be able to come back. But if I dont, then Im afraid he wont come back.
coming up: Part 3 of my trip to nyc. This involves my encounter w/my ex bf: SCB.
