my high school friend (married) is in town w/her husband. At dinner the other night, she told me she was pregnant. And while I was surprised and happy for her (or at least I think that’s what I was supposed to feel) I really did not feel anything. Mostly, I felt envious that someone could be so happy when you know, others (me), are not.
I also felt like a 12 year old, sitting there, listening to my married friend talk about her life as a grown up, and I thought to myself, god I still wear clothes from teen stores. I still buy stuff from the junior section. I know that this is what people do – grow up, find someone, get married, have kids – but why does it seem like such a foreign idea to me?
I know. This is something I always talk about, but it really freaks me out. Not panicked freaked out bc I really dont worry about fitting into that mold, but just freaked out because its starting – my friends are having kids now. And its just going to be different from here on out. Dammit.
