my first foray into the bar scene again. weird. its def been a while, and def feels different knowing that scb and i arent really “together.”
me, c, and r went to a magazine launch party at Livingroom Lounge. When we arrived, we already knew all bets were off. game over. there was a guy who was lingering outside the velvet ropes who looked like Joey from friends and who had hamster butt hair. Then some guys arrived behind us and commented, “IS THIS A FAKE LINE?” well, if you’re standing in it, then it must not be fake, huh. although i know he meant that they were just keeping a line outside to make it look exclusive (so lame), but still, guy should keep stupid im cooler than you thoughts to himself.
first guy i saw when arriving inside was a guy all dressed up like a dandy. seersucker suit, one of those flat topped straw hats, little spectacles, cane. probably wearing spats for all i know. at first, we thought he was “Junkie XL” (I shoudl mention that this was a launch party for an electronica magazine that heavily featured various djs–2 of whom were at the party) Upon further comparison w/the magazine, we deduced that he looked less like Junkie XL and more like a human version of 3 blind mice.
other gems included: group of guys and girls all wearing various mtv hats (checkered, especially) that were cool like last year,
dance humper: weird scrawny dude in leather jacket who was following girls around and basically humping them on the dance floor. then we saw him humping a guy and it was all i could do to yell out, “OHHH NOOOO!” C’s response: “I did NOT expect THAT.”
noodle: strange dude in all black who was dancing like a limp noodle waving in the wind. imagine what it would look like if you shook a wet noodle. thats how he danced.
capri: tall guy dressed in all black with black duster coat and capri pants (i even think they were tapered). had long curly glistening hair. in contrast wore what looked like huge wrestling shoes. he came by our table and lingered for a while. c and i hid behind the magazines and whispered “GO AWAY GO AWAY.” (we’re going to hell, btw, in case you didnt already know)
air crawler: couldnt really come up w/a good name for this guy. except that he had a fivehead (not a forhead) and wore his limp red tinged longish hair perfect parted down the center. and he was asian so it was even more bizarre looking. he started the night dancing/crawling in his windbreaker, then got so into it he had to remove the top layer. how to describe his dance moves? a mix between air crawling (bent over and moving his hands/arms as if he were crawling along the floor) and orb dancing. orb dancing is something i learned at raves–where you dance as if you are protecting an “orb of light” in your hands and you dont want to drop the orb. oy. so weird. he kept making unintentional eye contact too. and smiling. no. no and NO.
some guy “ERRY?”–we didnt know if it was jerry, harry, larry, gary,–came over to talk to us. he opened by talking to me, then moved on to R. we had no idea who he was trying to hit on. r accepted his invitation of a drink and ended up at their vip table. c and i were so glad we didnt go. scareeeyyy. but props to ERRY for approaching and talking to us. He seemed nice enough. sincere enough, and you know, if every guy approached girls the way he did, then theyd have a lot more numbers at th end of the night. but again, no idea who he was trying to hit on–points lost on that front. and honsestly, i wasnt really looking, i was just people watching. if orlando bloom asked me if i wanted a drink, i probably wouldnt have even noticed.
although i did notice couple of guys relocate themselves from across the room to a position close to me and c. they were doing the weird whisper you talk to her no you talk to her thing. then they gave up and went back to the other side of the room. who knows what they wanted.
was a relatively fun/interesting night. no real prospects in crowd, but again i must say i wasnt really interested in looking to hard anyway. i tried to force myself to check out the scene, just for research purposes, but nothing struck my fancy, and im sure there were some attractive guys there but all i could think of was scb. scb. scb. scb. who i promptly text messaged when i got home like the good little 15-year old gaywad I am.
