I am floating.
I feel as if everyone around me possesses some sort of clue that I don’t have about how to live life. They are committed in one way or another to *something*–work, kids, relationship, school. I was talking to R the other day–talking about stock options–and I started to feel sick to my stomach. When I flip through magazines or watch tv shows, I see people–my age or not much older–with these serious careers. They have already won all these awards, bought expensive houses, are living this glamorous dream life, and I start to wonder…what the hell am I doing?
Am I fooling myself to think that my life will serve a greater purpose than accumulating material things? Or is that a consolation prize for now b/c I am nowhere close to having that. Will I be in my 60s, regretting the choices I made today?
You know, in writing that, I laughed a little.
When I’m 60, I doubt I will ever regret that I left my job.
