30 Weeks!

I made it to 30 weeks!

It probably looks like I’m about to pop in the above photo, but I had just chugged a liter of water and the combination of arching my back and a 3/4 turn didn’t exactly create the most slimming of poses. Not that I was really worried about that because obviously, I’m pregnant. Just not necessarily “ready to pop” (as everyone likes to tell me) pregnant…yet.

I know you’re thinking “poor Max,” but trust me, he loves being carried like a rag doll (or being held in general). He was purring the entire time.

Most twin pregnancies are considered full-term after 36 weeks, which means in all likelihood, I don’t have much longer to go. I may be kind of freaking out a little bit, but mostly we are excited to meet these two. We have finally started doing all the things we probably should have done weeks ago, like deciding what we need to buy, creating a registry (mostly for ourselves), planning a small baby shower, cleaning out one of our rooms to create a make-shift “nursery,” organizing our crap, setting up a college fund for the twins, ordering a breast pump from our insurance, getting the other guest rooms ready for grandparents, buying a few baby items so the twins won’t be totally naked, getting our other kitty’s teeth cleaned, and packing a hospital bag. Whew!

At our last prenatal appointment, we discussed birth plans in detail with our doctor and nurse and I think that’s when it finally hit me: I’m going to have babies soon. Plural. It also hit me that we still have a lot we need to do before they arrive! I started having a bit of anxiety about the whole thing because there are so many more variables when it comes to twin births as compared to singleton births, so even if we plan for one thing, the reality may be totally different. We are meeting with a high-risk specialist (all multiple births, even twins, are considered high-risk) next week just to make sure all of our bases are covered and to give us peace of mind that we are doing everything we can to ensure a healthy delivery. In the meantime, I’m trying my best to take things day by day, not stress out too much, not think too far ahead, and just trust that my body and my doctors (instead of books, online forums, all the “advice” people have been giving me) will know what to do when the time comes.

I know that a lot of people say they love being pregnant, but I tend to think that either those people feel like they have to say that or they’re full of crap. I love the idea that I’m pregnant in the sense that my body is magically creating two kids (so weird) but do I love the actual physical reality of being pregnant? No. This pregnancy has been a pretty rough road so far, both physically and mentally. In the beginning, I was terrified that I would miscarry, especially considering that my diet was so limited due to “morning” sickness. Then, once I got through the worst of the sickness, I got sick again. Then came the “round ligament pain,” the pelvic pain, the back pain, the hip pain, the all over pain, the lack of sleep, the hormones that made me feel like I was going to cry every second, the anemia (not uncommon for twin moms), the millions of tests, and the resulting anxiety from said tests. These are all fairly normal symptoms, so maybe people who love being pregnant also love pain, emotional roller coasters, anxiety, and nausea?

Because twins are considered high-risk, I have been marking my time with milestones. Initially, I just wanted to get through the first trimester. Then 20 weeks because that meant I was halfway through and had a lower chance of miscarriage. Then 22 weeks to see a detailed anatomy scan to make sure the twins were developing properly. Then 24 weeks because that’s when the babies are considered “viable” (and also when doctors can put in breathing tubes…ugh…). Then 28 weeks because that meant I was entering my last trimester. And now, finally, 30 weeks. THIRTY WEEKS!

In the early days of my pregnancy, 30 weeks was my long-term goal. At 30 weeks, 90% of babies that are born make it. It probably sounds crazy to singleton parents who think of full-term as 40 weeks, but it’s different for twins births. For example, according to my baby tracking app, singleton babies at 30 weeks weigh around 2-3 lbs. Ours are almost 4 lbs. Each. Supposedly twins mature faster in the womb — at least ours have always tracked as a couple weeks bigger than average — so it’s pretty normal that twins are born earlier than singletons. In fact, most doctors rarely let twin mamas go past 38 weeks for various health reasons. I felt like if I could somehow will my body and the twins to make it to 30 weeks, then our odds were pretty good for healthy babies.

And now, I’m 30 weeks. Or just over 30 weeks. Which is a relief, but also, this is when shit gets real.

Since our last prenatal appointment, the twins have almost doubled in size and I have started to outgrow all the baggy clothing that I stole from Sly’s side of the closet. Thankfully, the weather has finally begun to warm up (despite the heavy snow last week) and I’m hoping that I can wear all my stretchy, shapeless, potato sack dresses for the rest of my pregnancy. So far, I’ve only bought 2 pairs of maternity pants, one tunic (which I can wear later), and one stretchy dress (which I’ll also be able to wear later), and I’m hoping to keep it that way. Less money spent on clothes = more money spent on things the twins and furry babies need.

The twins are kicking a lot now, and are really strong. It’s a bit creepy watching my stomach “popping” every time the twins move. Like I can literally see them moving around like little alien babies and it’s both very cool and very weird. We were planning on getting a 4D ultrasound, but the waiting list at our hospital was so long and we probably wouldn’t see much anyway since the twins are kind of packed in tight, so we’ll just have to wait until they’re born to see their faces.

Sleep has been especially hard to come by. I know, I should get used to it (everyone’s favorite advice to give me), but someone who has struggled her entire life with insomnia, I am already used to it. It’s just much more intense now, and what sleep I do get isn’t very restful. I get tired extremely easily (we joke the twins are sucking the life force from me) and even a day of doing something simple — like organizing some storage, or walking to the store — will leave me completely exhausted the next day. I still wake up feeling nauseous and puke on occasion, but at least I don’t feel as crappy as I did in the first tri. The best way I can describe being pregnant, especially in the 3rd trimester is – it’s been extremely uncomfortable. At least for me.

But, we have a lot to look forward to, and that’s what keeps me going. My mom is coming in early April and will be staying with us for three months. The in-laws are arriving mid-April. And my sister and my nephew are hopefully going to make it out here in early June. And of course, there’s the excitement of meeting the twins for the first time! I still can’t really wrap my head around it. I know everyone says that once you hold them it all becomes real, but I have a feeling I’ll still be in complete shock for a long time afterward.

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I know I promised I wouldn’t write too much about baby stuff, and I still don’t plan on it. But at 30 weeks, I feel like these two could come along at any moment, in which case, I might pull another disappearing act. Which means this *could* be my last post in a long while, though hopefully not because I want these babies to stay put for as long as they’ll stay put. Plus, I still have a lot of Olympics posts I want to finish writing!

While the first trimester felt as if I were stuck in an eternal hell, the last couple of weeks have flown by so quickly. Part of me is beyond ready to get this show on the road, and another part of me is a little bit sad that these will be the last weeks when we are a family of four. We are really looking forward to adding two little ones to our family, but we are also making sure that we are savoring these quiet moments with each other and our furry babies before our lives are forever changed.