Every time my birthday rolls around I feel as if I should feel somehow *different* — that all of a sudden new profound thoughts will enter my head. But I feel the same. I’ve felt the same for the past 10 birthdays. Sometimes I even forget how old I am which is a clear sign that I’m getting old(er).
There’s a lot going on right now and at some point I’ll get more into the details. It’s all good but it’s a lot of change to handle at once. This, combined with my birthday, has made me really think a lot about stuff. Physical stuff. Emotional stuff. And the stuff that I want or don’t want to carry with me moving forward.
So instead of getting depressed at how old I am getting (or am) I’ve chosen to think of my bday as another day, another year, another chance that I get to create the life I want to live. The older I get, (thankfully) the clearer that vision becomes. There’s still so much that I still feel so clueless about — some things never change — but maybe a little less so.
I don’t feel older, but maybe just the tiniest bit wiser.
funnelcloud rachel
December 1, 2014 at 4:03 amOh man, you nailed it again – this is exactly how I feel. There’s so much pressure to make each year different/better and having a birthday as a marker for change just stresses me out! I’m a December baby, to,o which I think is an even more stressful time to have a birthday with the holidays and the end of the year and the starting fresh theme of a new year on the horizon! But you should keep on “being the same”, because I think you’re pretty awesome and your blog posts and photos always make my day! Happy Birthday!
veronika
December 1, 2014 at 4:18 pmAww, thanks for the bday wishes!
You’re totally right about December bdays — having a bday at the end of the year makes it feel like it should be all the more life changing. It’s too much to think about at once! I just want to enjoy the day for what it is — another day with same ol’ me.