Though it seems as if I read a decent amount this February, I started a couple of these books last month, giving me a head start on a shorter month. 12 books (including two graphic novels and one audio book), isn’t too shabby though I suspect my numbers will continue to drop as the year progresses. Once again, I checked out waaaaayyy too many books from the library and then felt like I was in a time crunch to finish them. There were a few surprises this month. The book I was really looking forward to reading – Heartless – I ended up feeling pretty lukewarm about, and the book I dreaded reading – The Sympathizer – I actually thought was pretty great. There were also two books, Clancys of Queens and You’ll Grow Out of It, that made me laugh out loud, which is rare for me** when it comes to reading so-called “humorous” books.

Here’s a look at the books I read in February, as well as what I’m reading now and what’s on my TBR list.

READ

A Spool of Blue Thread – Bor-ing. This was the first Anne Tyler book that I’ve ever read and I’m pretty sure it will be my last.  While I tend to enjoy “slow-burn” “family dramas,” I didn’t enjoy ASOBT. I ended up skimming chunks of the book, especially the parts that kept dwelling on things like painting a bench and cutting down a tree. Oh sorry, should I have prefaced that by saying “spoiler alert” because that was basically all that happened in this book. I got that these were symbolic events (that dragged on chapter after chapter) but at that point I did not need to be hindered by any more tedious details.

Clancys of Queens – This memoir about growing up in a working class family in Queens felt more like I was hanging out with a really funny friend over a comedian, if that makes sense. Like one (comedian) is trying to be funny and is always “on” but a friend (I wish the author of this book was my friend) is just naturally funny? I listened to Clancys of Queens as an audio book and I highly recommend it in this format as the author has a very charming, one-of-a-kind personality that is extremely entertaining.

You’ll Grow Out of It – So basically, the author of this book wrote about my life. Except for the being a successful/famous comedian/comedy writer part. And the being Jewish part. And the living the New York dream part. BUT otherwise, the stuff about guys who wear loafers without socks, the sick joy of watching The Bachelor, the horror (and apathy) towards finding THE perfect wedding dress, and classifying women as either poodle or wolf (sadly, I’m a total wolf): dead on. She’s like a funny big sister role model type friend who validated basically everything I felt growing up. The only thing that seemed somehow misleading was that I was expecting, maybe hoping, that the author would look like a troll. After about 50 pages in I decided to conduct a Google search. Of course she is beautiful. Or I guess I should say she’s “awkward” in the way that movies portray obviously good-looking women who need a makeover simply for wearing glasses and a ponytail. But I guess even beautiful, famous, smart, funny, accomplished, rich women with fulfilling careers and relationships living out their dreams in NYC (sorry, she lives in LA now) can be insecure too. And write a book for the masses about it. Right? Not bitter or anything.

Heartless – A re-imagining of Alice in Wonderland that takes place in a time when the Queen of Hearts wasn’t so evil. I am usually able to tear through books like this really quickly, but for whatever reason, I felt this book held up my reading this month. It was still a somewhat light Y/A read, but it didn’t hold my attention like some of the author’s other books, possibly because her version of Wonderland wasn’t drastically different, and certainly not better, than Lewis Carroll’s.

Homesick for Another World – When am I going to stop picking books (or not picking) based solely on cover art? The vintage sci-fi cover design combined with the book’s title led me to believe that this collection of short stories would be, I  don’t know, maybe slightly futuristic? Or maybe something Didion-esque? These stories are loosely centered around imperfect people who navigate among the fringes of society, and who all share a deep sense of loneliness or longing. It was hard for me to rate this book because on the one hand,  the writing is obviously very good, the stories are memorable, and it was certainly like nothing I’ve read before. On the other hand, I didn’t like the stories, the characters, or the author’s obsession with “fat” people (seriously every single story has at least one fat person). After I finished the book, I read the description on Goodreads and laughed. The person who wrote that blurb tried way too hard, i.g. “The needle hits the vein before we even feel the prick.” Um. Sure.

Compass South – I needed a break after reading Homesick for Another World and indulged in this graphic novel aimed at kids? Maybe tweens? It’s kind of hard to give a rating to a book like this because I know I’m not the intended audience, and to say it rates on the same level as a Pulitzer Prize winner seems somewhat unfair. Given that, for what it is, and for its genre and audience, I loved the book. It’s an adventure story about two orphaned kids who end up as stowaways on the high seas in search of family and clues to the mysterious compass and knife that they have had since birth. I would have probably been obsessed with this book as a kid.

The Sympathizer – The Sympathizer was this month’s book club pick, and one I was not looking forward to reading. In our book club last year, we had a discussion about books by Southeast Asian authors, namely the lack thereof. Joy Luck Club, aka basically the only book written by an Asian author that people can name off the top of their heads (Memoirs of a Geisha being the other book about Asian culture that people have heard of/read was written by a white guy) was written by a Chinese-American. Beyond those two books, can you think of any other popular stories about Asia – Asia as a whole being the largest, most populated continent – much less written by a Southeast Asian author? 

The point is, there are a good number of Asian authors who write books for mainstream, English speaking audiences, but very few are from Southeast Asia, and even fewer from Vietnam. In fact, I usually stray from reading anything about the Vietnam War because 1. I don’t like reading war stuff (unless, of course, it takes place in 1940s Paris) and 2. The VN stories that are out there have felt more or less like some version of Apocalypse Now or Miss Saigon. The Sympathizer was the first book I think that I have ever read that was written by a Viet, told from the point of view of a Viet, to another Viet. This may seem like an insignificant detail, but that this book finally gave a voice to many Vietnamese-Americans AND won the Pulitzer Prize while doing so was, and is, a pretty big deal.

As the author says, “The Vietnam War was the first war where the losers got to write the story,” a quote that really struck a chord with me. One of the plot lines in The Sympathizer is the making of a very popular Vietnam War movie and how Vietnamese people and war are portrayed by media. It made me think of how people of color in general are portrayed in TV and movies, and how in many cases, mainstream media still finds it acceptable to portray Asians as caricatures, the brunt of the joke, either as emasculated nerds with thick accents, as savages who deserve to get killed, or as ninja warriors (who also have accents, and who also deserve to be killed). Also, all Asians are usually seen as a singular entity, and in movies, quite often one type of Asian is substituted for another, say, Chinese for a Filipino or vice versa. It’s all the same anyway, right? Who cares about the nuances of Asian culture, especially when you live in a very Euro-centric country?  Even worse, and still so unbelievable in this day and age, is when a non-Asian person is made up to look “Asian” and speaks with a horrifically “Asian” accent, preferably with the accompaniment of a gong being hit in the background so the audience can be super sure that they are, in fact, seeing a legitimate Asian person.

What I found really disturbing was that while this book is set in the late 70s/early 80s, when it was perceived (at least by the majority) that it was more or less okay to be ignorant of other races and cultures, things in present-day America have not changed much. Sigh. As an example, I cannot believe that people actually defended this lady’s so-called attempts at “comedy,” expressing that if anyone took offense, it was because they “couldn’t take a joke.” To add insult to injury, the lady singing in the video performed it in front of an Asian “friend.” Notice how not a single person in the crowd finds anything wrong with this song. Like. At. All. Which, to me, is practicalky worse than the person singing/the song itself. It’s only in very recent times – maybe the past 5-10 years – where I have seen Asian men portrayed as normal, functioning, people, not nerds or ninjas. And it’s also only until recently that I have seen Asian women paired with Asian men on TV or in the movies, or, rarer still, Asian men with white women. Media isn’t wholly to blame, but at the same time,  it’s influence on popular American culture is undeniable. I wonder how many Americans think of a fictionalized movie version of Asians/Asia when they think of the Vietnamese/Vietnam/The Vietnam War.

While that is just a portion of the book, it was one of many parts that really made me gnash my teeth, not just because of how Asians were/are treated, but because of how refugees were/are treated.  The main story line of The Sympathizer begins at the end of the Vietnam War with the fall of Saigon, and takes the reader through about five years or so after the war, when many Vietnamese refugees relocated to America and tried to create new lives in a foreign country where they were often thought of as the enemy in a war that many Americans wanted to forget.  As mentioned, the story is told through the point of view of a Vietnamese person, a spy, who lives a life of dualities: He’s a spy but sympathizer, a Vietnamese who is American refugee, and who struggles with what is “good” and “bad,” and which causes are “right” or “wrong.”

I’m simplifying the themes quite a bit as this book is quite complex and intricately woven. Truthfully, I started this book in 2015, but could never get through the first 10 pages because it was so dense in terms of writing style and subject. I think part of the difficulty in reading this book was that it touched on so many complicated topics – race, immigration, war, the media, lost history – and concerns a war/period of time/part of the world, that most people (Americans) don’t care about or find to be relevant in their lives. 

Being half-Viet, there were some things I identified with in terms of Vietnamese culture and experiencing racism, and the fact that Asians in general, are more or less left out of any discussions concerning racism in America, but that in itself didn’t make this book instantly relatable to me. The war was not my war per se, even if I have family connections to it, and the way I’ve seen or heard the war portrayed throughout my life is as foreign to me as I imagine it is to those who are not Viet and/or who also did not live through it.  To be honest, there were many parts of the book that felt (extremely) uncomfortable and laborious, and it was certainly not the type of book I could cozy up and read with a cup of tea, or even one that I would casually toss out to a friend who needed a book recommendation. But I’m glad I read it. If the goal of a book is to open your mind, broaden horizons, and make you question, consider, and think in a new or different way, then this book definitely accomplished that in spades. I rarely ever highlight book passages any more these days, but I found myself making all kinds of notes in this book and then having lengthy discussions with Sly for days after reading it. 

The Sympathizer is about Vietnamese people during and after the Vietnam war. 40 years later, the story feels so very current, relevant, and applicable (and scary) given the events and politics of today. It’s a tale as old as time, as if history keeps repeating itself on an endless loop with different new wars in different countries and a new influx of refugees…

Did I love this book in the same way as, say, I loved reading the Harry Potter books? No. Did I think it was an important book that every person should read? Yes.

Lillian Boxfish Takes a Walk – After reading The Sympathizer, my brain felt like it had completed a marathon. I needed something a little (lot) less complex to read. Lillian Boxfish is the story of an 80-something year woman who takes a long walk in NYC on New Year’s Eve and recounts her past through various touchstones along the way. The story jumps back and forth from present (1984 NYC) to past (1930-50s NYC) and felt disjointed and, at times, unbelievable. I preferred reading about old New York over the scenes where the 80-year old lady describes how much she enjoys rap music. Gramma, please. No you did not just say that. I love hanging out with elderly people, and especially love listening to their stories, but I’m not sure if I would have liked hanging out with a borderline pretentious, upper-crust, try-hard grandma like Lillian.

Vietnamerica – This graphic novel was recommended to me by fellow blogger and book clubber, Rachel, and was also mentioned a few times by the author of The Sympathizer. I wanted to read it to see how it compared to The Sympathizer since both cover the lives of Vietnamese refugees from the fall of Saigon to adjusting to life in America. Vietnamerica was written by an American-born Viet who had no prior memory of Vietnam except through the stories of his parents and his family (the heart of this book), and thus, it’s a slightly different perspective than The Sympathizer, and one that I felt myself identifying with a lot more. Despite it being a graphic novel, it took me a lot longer to get through Vietnamerica simply because I initially couldn’t quite keep track of how many times the family tree split due to all the relocation that occurred during the war(s). It’s a personal, yet crazy, story of love, loss, family, war, and survival. Even though I’m only a generation removed from what my mom and her side of the family endured during the war(s), I still cannot even imagine what it must have been like to live through decades of internal and external conflict. It makes me really want to hear more stories from my family’s past and record them so that they are never lost.

On a lighter note, these panels illustrating the author trying to order a bowl of Vietnamese soup (pho) in modern day Saigon/Ho Chi Minh City made me laugh. This is basically me when I’m with Viets. Actually, this is me every day in Korea.

All The Missing Girls – Yet another book with “Girl” in the title that has been compared to Gone Girl and Girl on the Train. The title of the book pretty much sums up the plot: 10 years ago the main character’s best friend goes missing, never to be found again. The main character, whose name I forgot, returns to her small town for the summer and yet another woman goes missing. If you’re keeping up, “all” the girls in actuality refers to just two girls. One of the more frustrating (and gimmicky) aspects of this book is that it’s told in reverse, which makes no sense for this type of thriller. It’s not like the book starts in present day and then goes back 10 years, it goes back in time two weeks. So basically the main character knows more about the mystery she is trying to solve two weeks ago when she first arrived in her home town than she does now? Uh. Okay. Why would you have more information at the beginning of trying to solve a murder than 15 days later? On top of the lame book structure, I’m still waiting for the alleged “so many twists and turns.” Sidenote: Can we please stop referring to women as girls?

The Animators – Girls meets Thelma and Louise. The story of two creative hipster women – the animators – and the ebb and flow of their friendship, their daily struggles, their dysfunctional families, and life as art and through art. While reading this book, I rolled my eyes quite a bit. The two main characters were a bit too cliche – one is a hard on the outside, soft on the inside take no bs free spirited force of nature, the other is a somewhat passive, yet has her shit together, intellectual. Remind you of any other stories that feature two female leads? Because I can think of at least five, and in particular, one that is very similar in terms of plot, but if I mention the title of that story, it will totally give away what I’m guessing is supposed to be the key “surprise twist” of this book. After thinking on this book for a few days, it has sort of grown on me. My mind didn’t explode like all the reviews said it would (though let’s face it, I’m a hard nut to crack), but I would probably recommend it as a solid summer read. I can totally see this book being made into a movie.

My Sister Rosa – A Y/A version of The Bad Seed/There’s Something About Kevin. Question: do Y/A novels these days have graphic sex scenes now? And do the characters say “f***” a lot? Most Y/A books I’ve read – and trust me, I love my Y/A books – seem to sort of allude to sexy times, but more in an overly romantic, unattainably perfect, eye-rolling, Twilight series sort of way. Or maybe I’m not reading the right books. No, actually, I think I’m reading exactly the right books because I’m not sure I want to read teen sex scenes, like ever. Sooooo. Yes. This book. It’s basically about a psycho 10-year old girl, and her teenage brother who tries to keep her out of trouble (and who also is an…um…well…typical teenage dude…I’ll leave it at that). The second half of the book was much better than the first half, but overall it fell short for me. 

READING

I’m still picking my way through one of my books from last month’s reading list, but here are a few more I’ve started:

The Passenger – Books described as “thrillers” are my new guilty pleasure (besides Y/A books…but not Y/A books with sex scenes), and this one has been described as “white-knuckled,” “funny,” and of course, as containing lots of “plot twists.” Will there ever be any thriller on the planet that won’t be described as having “plot twists?” Doubtful. 

Wires and Nerves, Volume 1 – Marissa Meyer’s first graphic novel! Unlike Heartless (see above), this book takes place back in the Lunar Chronicles world, and is a companion story about one of Cinder’s secondary characters.

Upstream – I have heard so many people rave about Mary Oliver poems lately, so I snapped up this book when I saw it at the library and have been reading it in small doses. This is a book of essays, not poems, about nature, solitude, and finding beauty in small moments. Right up my alley.

TO READ

In addition to the few books on last month’s To Be Read list that I never got around to starting, here’s a few MORE books I hope to read this month:

Caravel – The first book in a new and well-received Y/A fantasy series has been compared to The Night Circus and The Hunger Games, an interesting combo. This is one of those books where I saw the cover, read the word “magic,” and immediately added it to my list.

You Will Know Me – A crime thriller that takes place in the gymnastics world? Call me girly, but as someone who loves to read ballet stories, gymastics (and ice skating) is the next best thing. I have a feeling that this book will be nothing at all like what I am envisioning. Hopefully that’s a good thing. 

His Bloody Project – March’s book club pick. A murder mystery told through crime documents, with I’m sure, a lot of “plot twists and turns.”

Habibi – Craig Thompson is one of my favorite graphic novelists, so I was super excited when I found this (massive, 10lb book) at my library. Can’t wait to sink my teeth into this epic love story.

Torch Against the Night – The second book in the An Ember in Ashes series. I enjoyed the first book — kind of like a Roman version of Utopia; a sort of Hunger Games-ish/Divergent story. I’m curious if the second book will propel the story forward like it did with the Hunger Games books, or suck hard like the Red Queen series.

Perfect Little World – A story that takes place in a sci-fi-ish utopian world in which 10 children are raised without knowing their biological parents. What could go wrong?

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TLDR;

A summary of the above summaries for those who are just looking for a book to read for the love of God and don’t want to sift through my boring drivel.

Thumbs Up

If you want to laugh out loud: You’ll Grow Out of It
If you want to think: The Sympathizer
If The Sympathizer intimidates you but you still want to read one of the few books written by (underrepresented) Vietnamese authors: Vietnamerica
If you want a really good audio book: Clancys of Queens

Not So Much

If you want to die from boredom: A Spool of Blue Thread
If you want to feel like you don’t know WTF you are reading: Homesick for Another World
If you were looking for a book on one of those “leave a book, take a book” bookshelves and needed something to read while at the beach: All the Missing Girls

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**NOTE:  When it comes to books that are “funny” or books that are “sad,” I remain as cold and unfeeling (and possibly borderline sociopathic?) as ever. True story: my sister once affectionately called me a cold-hearted bitch because I didn’t cry at the end of the movie, Beaches. She was joking, but it was also true. Getting a laugh or a tear to come out of me is like squeezing blood from stone, in part because any outward emotion of mine is usually expressed through eye-rolling, sarcasm, and only in the most inappropriate times (like at a funeral), laughter.

On the other hand, if an animal is involved, even if it’s not a main character or does not have any sort of significant role in a book or movie, then I’m completely and obsessively invested. I’m not talking Old Yeller or My Dog Skip movies, I’m talking like some stupid rom-com where a man is seen walking a dog in the background of an outdoor cafe scene or one where a cat is lying on a grungy couch in a bookstore with buttery light while the main character has a romantic discussion with some dude. Like say a dog (substitute any animal here – I just read a graphic novel where a puma drowns and it bothered me for days. Days!) is mentioned in the first five minutes of a book/story/movie, but is never brought up again. All I can think about for the rest of the story is, “What happened to the dog?” If we’re watching a movie, I will maybe fake laugh (if the movie is supposed to be funny), glance around to see if that was the correct behavior/if other people are also laughing, then lean over, nudge Sly, and whisper, “Hahaha (fake laughter)…soooooo…what happened to the dog? Did the dog die?” After which Sly will shush me and tell me to pay attention to the movie, and I’ll nod but still continue wondering about the dog/cat/goat/pig/etc. Such is my obsession that I will still be thinking about the poor dog right before I go to bed, at which point I will stay up until 4am either a) Googling what happened to the dog,  b) getting sidetracked and looking up animals to adopt on PetFinder.com or c) watching the sad Sarah MacLaughlin ASPCA video on YouTube that makes me mist up and reach for my pocket book every single damn time. Sidenote: I also get this way when someone wastes food on TV or in the movies. Not the crying, the obsessing.

What usually makes me laugh are things most normal people do not find funny, OR when other people laugh with no shame at really stupid parts of a movie, OR especially when people cry during overly romantic movies. Sorry, but, was The Notebook supposed to be sad? It was just so over the damn top and serious. Even without the “sad parts” I found myself laughing at the cheesy parts, which was most of the movie. All this to say, books rarely ever make me laugh or cry, and I usually am unable to tolerate any book or movie that describes itself as “hilarious,” a “tear-jearker,” or worse, “you’ll laugh until you cry.”

There are, however, a few, rare exceptions. The two books I mentioned here – Clancys of Queens and You’ll Grow out of It, written by two regular storytellers at The Moth (which I had never heard about until I read these books) actually, for once, made me laugh out loud. Literally, LOL.