Notes | The Holidays in Photos

We spent the holidays back in DC with our families who either currently live there or drove up/flew in to spend time with us. It was the first time since our wedding (!) that we have all been in the same place at the same time. Last year we stayed in Korea over the holidays, and at the time, it wasn’t a huge deal for us. We still ate our “feast of seven fishes” dinner on Christmas Eve. I still decorated a (very tiny) tree and hung up lights. I baked trays and trays of cookies and we watched It’s a Wonderful Life. It didn’t quite feel like Christmas, but then again, it was somewhat expected that our first Christmas in Korea would be different. In essence, isn’t that why we chose to live abroad? For new experiences?

What we didn’t factor into the equation was how much we would miss our families, and how being away from family over the holidays intensified those feelings at least tenfold.  Obviously we have kept in touch, and there have been a few visits and meet-ups in the past two years, but what became abundantly clear the moment we stepped off the plane from Korea (technically, Beijing) was that no amount of video calls, social media, and emails could substitute for actually, physically, being with family over the holidays.

Below are a few photos taken over the holidays, accompanied by (mostly) short, descriptive snippets. I didn’t take a ton of pictures (relatively speaking), and what photos I took were mostly centered around what we seem to always do as a family whenever we are together: eating and being goofy.

We flew from Busan to Beijing, where we had a several hour layover (nothing like the 17 hr layover the first time I flew through Beijing). The airport had a ton of new shops and places to eat since I was last there, including quite possibly the nicest Pizza Hut and KFC I have ever seen. They looked like little modern bistros, complete with waitstaff, instead of crummy fast food restaurants. We bought a few last minute gifts from the souvenir shops in the airport and then wasted nearly an hour of our lives in the world’s slowest security line (there were only three people in front of us) whereby every single item in our small carry-on bags was opened, probed, inspected, and questioned (my first-generation Nintendo DS caused the most confusion, which was like come on seriously, is it *that* antiquated?) prior to going through the x-ray machine. Why even bother having an x-ray machine at that point?

From Beijing we caught a direct flight on an American airline, which, after flying regional Asian airlines with mostly Asian passengers, felt completely different. The first thing that really stood out to me was the diversity of the flight crew. In fact, that was also the first thing I noticed upon arriving at Dulles – the diversity of people. And that people of all races, nationalities, gender, physical capabilities, etc. were all interacting with one another. I know the US gets a lot of hate, both from Americans and non-Americans, but after living abroad for two years in a very homogeneous country, I really appreciated that a mutt like myself could slip back into the big old melting pot that is DC with very little fanfare. No staring. No grabbing. No intrusion of personal space.

Once through immigration, we spotted my sister in the crowd and excitedly rushed towards her, jumping up and down. It was so weird to be communicating and seeing each other in real time – and in the same time zone!

For the past four or five years, we have celebrated Christmas Eve with a “feast of seven fishes.” Usually these feasts have been rather elaborate, but last year, when Sly and I spent the holidays in Korea, we adapted the feast to Asian cuisine with a big sushi dinner. This year, we continued the tradition at a neighborhood raw bar which was open late. We gorged on plate after plate of raw oysters, as well as steamed clams, sushi rolls, and plenty of tasty beverages. I always look forward to Christmas Eve more than I do Christmas day, and even more so since seafood has been involved.

Another thing I didn’t realize that I missed until I didn’t have it: the smell of real Christmas trees. Christmas is celebrated in Asia. It’s not quite as huge an ordeal with overboard gift-giving like it is in the States, but the holiday decorations in Asia are some of the most elaborate I’ve ever seen. Unfortunately, none of these decorations include real trees, and I have missed that fresh pine smell for the past two years. It just doesn’t quite feel like Christmas without it.

Breakfast on Christmas morning. My mom woke up early before her flight to DC (like 4 am) to bake us homemade kolaches and baos. The kolaches were stuffed with three different types of fillings: Chinese BBQ, pepperoni and mozzarella, and jalapeno, sausage and cheddar. I cannot even begin to describe how amazing these were and how light and fluffy the homemade bread was. Hands down the best we’ve ever eaten, which is saying a lot because Texans love their kolaches.

These two. Frick and Frack. Like father like son.

On Christmas day, we have a tradition where only the person who is wearing a Santa hat can open a gift. This was invented back when my nephew was a lot younger and super eager to open all his gifts at once without waiting for others to take a turn.  The tradition has carried on since then.

My sister’s kitty, Clove. Such a sweet (and weird) kitty. She was a bit overwhelmed by all her house guests at first, but she quickly warmed up to us.

Yup, he’s definitely one of us.

Our Christmas dinner included beef Wellington, brown butter butternut squash, roasted mushrooms, kale and beet salad with homemade dressing, hot rolls, and a Sly’s famous chocolate cake (with ice cream, of course) for dessert.

Not included here: all the candy and snacks we received for Christmas and nibbled on consistently throughout the holidays.

Jack helping Sly make homemade spaghetti and meatballs with homemade sauce. Our family is obsessed with food and when we’re together, we’re either cooking or eating. Jack is unlike any kid his age I know in that he loves to try anything and everything, especially if it’s spicy or Asian.  He loved coming with us to the grocery store and selecting things that he has never tried. He was also very eager to lend a helping hand in the kitchen. Like I said, definitely one of us.

One evening, when we were too lazy to cook, we asked Jack to choose a restaurant from my sister’s stack of take out menus. He selected Sri Lankan because he had never eaten it before and wanted to try it. Jack accompanied my sister and I to the restaurant where we sat at the bar, drank masala tea and mango lassis, and had long heart-to-heart conversations while waiting for our food, which took forever. I love that we all bond over food as a family.

Super-Clove in her sentry post. Like I said, weird cat. But look at that face!

My sister bought us all tickets to see a musical production of The Secret Garden in DC as a Christmas gift. Jack loves going to the theater, and especially loves musicals. Last year, he saw – and loved – Oliver Twist with my family.

The theater had a photo booth and a bunch of props set up at one end of the hallway. The photo booth didn’t quite work, but that didn’t stop us from hogging all the props and taking our own photos.

Sly was always slaving away in the kitchen, in part because he enjoys cooking and partly because he was still jet-lagged. He often woke up at 5 am, sneaked out of the house to pick up some groceries, and several hours later we would wake up the scent of blueberry scones baking in the oven. Sly definitely wins the best hubby award. 🙂 (Hi, Sly!)

We always stay up late when we’re all together, usually trying some strange snacks we picked up at the grocery store that day (btw, American grocery stores are the most amazing places ever), and/or watching stupid tv. Jack just learned about Rickrolling, and would get up and dance whenever we played the song, which, oddly enough, was quite a lot.

Family night at the movies! We watched the new Star Wars movie in 3D. The movie was a bit slow in the beginning, and the chairs were sooo comfortable, that I think everyone but Jack, who had already seen the movie, fell asleep.

One of my favorite days was the sunny afternoon we hiked around Gravelly Point. We originally planned on taking a tour of the Pentagon with my sister, but my brother wasn’t feeling very well that day. Determined to get out and do something, we asked Jack what he felt like doing and he replied, “something outdoors.”

It was already getting to be late in the afternoon so we scrapped plans to hike at Great Falls and instead drove to nearby Gravelly Point Park where we watched the planes take off/land and hiked the Mount Vernon Trail along the Potomac River. It turned out to be a beautiful, sunny, and somewhat warm, afternoon, and the perfect little hike. Nature always has a way of energizing me, and we all finished our hike rejuvenated and in such high spirits.

After our hike we took Jack to the new (?) Dave and Busters. Sly bought Jack a game credit card while the adults made their way to the bar for happy hour. FYI, Dave and Busters has a crazy-awesome drink menu for both adults and kids with all kinds of gimmicky, ‘fun’, borderline girly drinks. The type of drinks you would find at an American bar in Cabo or something. Why am I talking so much about the drink menu?

Our favorite game, hands down, was Mario Olympics, a game that we could all play at the same time. After choosing our three Olympic sports, we competed against one another to see who won each event. You can’t tell from this photo but we’re standing on a pressure sensitive platform. Some events required running, jumping, and leaping, as well as rotating two huge joysticks. I sucked at trampoline, was okay at hurdles, but I got the overall top score in swimming! What the what? I suck at video games so I was pretty damn proud of myself. And no, I wasn’t drunk. When it was his turn, Sly ended up with the top overall score in long jump.

As a mostly hairless cat, Clove gets really cold during the winter. My sister has a bunch of Sphynx-specific sweaters for her to wear, but she doesn’t like wearing them for too long. Mostly she splays herself out in front of her own personal heater or burrows under blankets in her sentry post. On a really cold and snowy day, we built a fire and dragged Clove’s bed in front of it. It’s one of her favorite things ever.

Since both sides of our family were all in the same place, Sly’s mom wanted us to get together for a big family meal. We ended up having lunch at Mad Fox Brewing Company, one of the only places that a) had space for such a large group b) allowed us to book online, and c) had a neutral enough menu that everyone could enjoy. Much to Jack’s delight, it briefly snowed during lunch.

Afterwards, we drove to one of Sly’s brother’s homes in Vienna for coffee, tea, and my sister-in-law’s amazing coffee cake with homemade whipped cream. All of my nieces and nephews disappeared, along with my sister. We found them in the play room explaining Pokemon to my sister. Haha. So funny and cute. My littlest niece, who is normally very shy, was especially obsessed with my sister.

We had a great time hanging out with our families, playing jenga, watching America’s Got Talent clips on YouTube, and just catching up in general. It was also crazy to see how much Jack and my niece, Coco – our ring bearer and flower girl at our wedding — had grown since they last saw each other! Hopefully it won’t be another six years before we all meet up again. By that time, Coco and Jack will be adults! Ah! Lalalalalalala. I don’t want to think about it.

I think it’s pretty apparent who runs the house.

This is a photo of a huge chocolate bunny which for some reason was given the name “The Professor.” (OMG they have a bunch of other bunnies with names…what the…) We found it on clearance back around Easter and saved it all this time to give to my brother for Christmas.

Let me back up a bit because this probably makes no sense.

Many years ago, I think even before we were married, Sly and my brother picked up a HUGE chocolate penguin from our nearby Wal-greens. The day prior we had been walking around Wal-greens laughing at all the gross leftover holiday chocolates and Santas with half-eaten heads. The penguin stood out because it was so massive and also because it was made by Palmer’s, which is arguably one of the worst chocolatiers in the history of chocolate. Come Christmas, I found a nice chocolate penguin wrapped up and waiting for me under the tree. I have never let my brother forget it.

Since then I have given my brother a massive chocolate or candy something every single Christmas. One year, I found a chocolate Capitol building (btw, these can be found at the Costco in Crystal City), another year, a 5lb gummy bear, and yet another year a huge 5-10lb box of chocolates. His mistake has also spilled over onto Jack, who is guilty by blood. As my brother said one year, “but I only gave you a chocolate penguin that ONE time.” Yup, and you’ll keep paying for it for the rest of your life.

It’s been kind of difficult to top ourselves year after year, so when we saw “The Professor” we knew that it would be worth the wait. Instead of eating “The Professor” we dressed him up and hid him throughout the house or placed him outside of bedroom or bathroom doors, “waiting” to scare its next victim. It never seemed to get old. We rattled that chocolate bunny around so much that one of his ears caved in. Eventually Jack ate one of “The Professor’s” ears…and said it tasted pretty good…

Unfortunately we never got around to “making The Professor cry” by placing him in front of the fireplace. The idea was that the heat would semi-melt his face and either create chocolate “tears” or cause “The Professor’s” creepy eyes to slide down his cheeks. Maybe it’s a good thing we never got around to that…

Ever since our last New Year’s Eve in the States, we have been on the lookout for Michelob Ultra Light Cider. It basically tastes like watery apple juice, and apparently isn’t very easy to find. On one of our morning grocery runs, we found the elusive cider! We bought some for old time’s sake…

Jack just turned 13 in December, which blows my mind. He also had a major growth spurt, got braces, and has gone through two shoe sizes in less than six months. I think the worst thing about living abroad is missing out on all the little moments of our families’ daily lives. Sigh. Jack is such a great age right now — he’s always been pretty mature for his age, but I love that he’s still such a kid and such a sweetheart. He came up to me so many times during his visit to tell me how much he missed me and to give me huge hugs. I told him he better not turn totally emo when he gets older and he promised he wouldn’t.

I don’t think it will matter how old he gets, I will always think of him as a little kid.

Before Sly’s parents drove back to Atlanta, Sly and I met up again at a different brother’s house to hang out with his side of the family. I love how we all have such different personalities, backgrounds, and beliefs, but we all get along so well. I never understood when people married someone whose family didn’t like them or who didn’t like the spouse’s family. Thankfully, we don’t have that problem.

I planned on baking German cookies for Christmas, but with all the food and treats we had, I never got around to it. (I also never got around to drinking any of the eggnog I specifically requested my sister to pick up from the hippiemart — Sorry J!) Before my family left to go back to Houston, Jack, my brother and I made a double batch of ginger snap cookies. I sent about half of the cookies home with Jack and asked him if he was planning on sharing them with his little sisters, to which he said, “nope, they’re too good.” Haha.

A couple last-minute portraits before everyone tearfully said goodbye. 🙁

As always, time sped by way too quickly. There just never seems to be enough time with loved ones, and even less when you live so far away from one another. I’m trying not to think that it might be another year before we see each other again and instead focus on all the good memories we shared while we were together over the holidays.

After my brother, mom, and nephew left, we gorged on hot pot at Little Sheep Mongolian Hot Pot in the Eden Center. My sister would not stop talking about the roe-filled fish balls that she always craved. Of course we made fun of my sister for always bringing up the fish balls all week…and then we tried them…and yeah, they were delicious. Other than the fish balls, my favorite hot pot item was the tofu platter.

As usual, we ate way too much and couldn’t even finish all our food. And yet, afterwards, we still walked around in search of boba milk tea, which we found just across the street at a newly opened trendy, loungey boba/pho shop. Yum.

We met up with my sister-in-law and one of my nieces for lunch one afternoon. My niece, Vita, is obsessed with animals so after lunch we picked up coffee and invited them over to my sister’s house to meet Clove. It was love at first sight. Vita was totally obsessed with Clove and Clove loved having a little playmate. We kept joking that Clove’s cat toys served a dual purpose because they were both entertaining to a cat and to a three-year old.

We played with Clove for hours, until Vita started acting like a dog (according to her mom, she either acts like a dog or a cat every day) and howled in a really high pitched voice that scared Clove. Eventually Clove hid under the bed in the basement. We followed her down there and then Vita told me in her soft, whispery voice, that there was a ghost behind me…

One of our old childhood friends, who we haven’t seen in ages, also lives in DC. For whatever reasons, our paths never quite seemed to cross when we were living in the DC area, but this holiday, my mom – who is friends with our friend’s mom – organized lunch at a nearby burger spot. It was so crazy to think that the last time we saw one another we were practically Jack’s age!

It’s pretty amazing how the years can just fall away as if no time has passed when you meet up with someone who knew you as a kid. After the obligatory small-talk catching up, we reverted to our teenaged selves and were as goofy and trash-talking as ever. Oddly enough, Sly and our friend realized that they had a lot in common – even visiting the same clubs when they were in college and driving the same make/model car! Total Bro-mates! After lunch, we hung out at my sister’s house eating left over chocolate cake and playing one of Jack’s card games that he received for Christmas. We had a lot of fun and wondered what had taken us so long to meet up.

The following week, we made dinner plans at The Bird in DC. Dinner turned into drinks back at our friend’s house, which turned into freezing our asses off on his rooftop patio while we waited for the snowstorm to arrive. More on this night in another post.

Honestly, I was a bit skeptical that it would snow. I mean, DC weather forecasters don’t exactly have the best track record. But the next morning we woke up to a beautifully dusted white winter wonderland. Sigh. ‘Merica.

We had hit it up pretty hard the night before so when J suggested getting some pho we all immediately popped out of bed, got ready in about 10 minutes, and were out the door just in time to beat the lunch time crowd at Pho 75 in Arlington. I had forgotten how good their soup was; it was absolute perfection. We can find pho soup places here in Korea, but the lack of key ingredients (lime, cilantro, Thai basil, Thai chili) plus a healthy dose of Korean-izing of the soup, results in something that tastes similar, but not quite right. Pho 75 does not suffer from that problem, however. We slurped up every last drop, purchased some Viet sweet dessert drinks for the road, and then drove over to Banh Mi DC Sandwich to pick up a crap load of banh mi for post-lunch (because we couldn’t resist even though we were so stuffed already) and dinner. SO GOOD. I miss good Viet food.

When planning our trip to DC, my sister asked if there was anything in particular I wanted to do, and I mentioned, somewhat jokingly, that I wanted to go dancing, but not at an overly clubby-club where I would be hit on by dudes with unbuttoned shirts. Once I said it, the wheels were put in motion. J recommended U Street Music Hall. We decided against the new-age-yoga-mat night and instead chose to go on Daft Punk/French House music night.

As it turned out, our childhood friend also planned on going!  Sly, my sister, and I took an Uber to U Street Music Hall, downed a few shots, and got right on the dance floor. It was the perfect place to go dancing, with a loungey-over-clubby atmosphere, great sound system, and a very mixed, mostly low-key crowd. According to my sister it had been at least three years since she had gone dancing, and probably even longer for me and Sly. Whatever it was, it had been way too long, and as always, it was so much fun. Definitely took me back to my younger days and reminded me that we should make it a point to do it more often. When I was younger I always thought that I never wanted to be the token (sad) old people at a bar or club dancing, but now that I’m older, age be damned! I hope to still be dancing at clubs and attending concerts when I’m 80 years old!

Our friend met up with us, along with several of his friends, at U Street and after a few drinks, they left to go to a karaoke place (Muzette) in Adams Morgan. We finished our drinks, danced to a few more songs, and then joined our friends, old and new, for more drinking and singing and especially drunken singing. Our throats were so sore the next day from yell-scream-singing to Backstreet Boys, Richard Marx, Guns ‘n Roses, Bon Jovi, etc.

After we closed down the karaoke bar, we stumbled out into the frigid cold, first for empanadas and then for jumbo slice. Because no night is complete in Adams Morgan without one or the other. (Or in our case, both!)

Yet another blurry photo taken from an Uber window as we drove back home through the District.

The next day we had plans to celebrate Vita’s early birthday with a small family gathering. It was a bit of a struggle to get out the door given how late we were up the night before, but we made it!

After Vita blew out the candles on her Lion King themed cake, she turned to me and said in her very quiet voice, “Remember when we played with the cat?” It was so so cute. Squeeeeeze. Later in the afternoon, while the adults sat around the table and while the older children ran around the house playing, Vita shyly came up to me, grabbed my hand, and whispered, “Will you come and play with me in my playroom?” How could anyone say no to that?

I actually don’t consider myself to be a “kid person,” which doesn’t mean that I don’t like kids (of course I love my nieces and nephews), but I don’t necessarily feel the need to force myself on a kid and/or talk to them in a baby voice either. Shudder. Maybe kids are just like cats: if you let them be, they will come to you. Even though we have seen Vita many times over the years, she has always been so shy and quiet around me, and I have given her space to get to know me. It may have taken several years, but this time around, we really bonded. Maybe Vita is a cat after all.

For our final meal in the States, we chose to eat a spicy crawfish boil at Chasin’ Tails. The crawfish were out of season and still a bit small, but they still tasted so good to us. The real stars of the night were the lightly battered crispy fried catfish, and the huge, plump, juicy boiled shrimp in a bag. It was a great meal, and a great way to end our trip.

I have never understood the type of people who travel nonstop or who live abroad for years without seeing their family, because for me, fulfilling wanderlust comes at a price. It means going for long periods of time without physically being with family. It means that in a year’s time, your nephew will have grown five inches. It means missing out on birthdays, funerals, break-ups, weddings and all the little stuff in between. It means not being able to takr care of someone when s/he doesn’t feel well or take a good friend out for drinks when s/he is having a bad day. Sometimes it’s easy to push aside the absence and longing with trips to exotic places, but ultimately it’s only a temporary fix. The fact remains that we live on one side of the world and our families, and most of our friends, live on the other.

As a lifetime wanderer, I have always felt as if I have been searching; looking for a sense of familiarity – of home – in every new place I have lived and in every country or city I visited. The irony is, of course, that no matter how far and wide I searched, home has never been about a place. Home is this, these moments, spending time with our families over the holidays, cooking together, eating together, laughing together, being together.

Home was here all along.